life update - yes, I am alive. kind of.
A lot has happened and I have not had a good moment to sit down and write about it as I wanted to and maybe as I should (re: blogging is good for my mental health).
So here goes.
I think I mentioned that over the course of the New Year (oh yeah Happy Lunar New Year to those who celebrate it today) I discovered that there were some health issues that needed looking into. So yeah that has sort of progressed now. I am undergoing treatment and am taking medicine to see if it does something for me. I have a follow-up examination at the end of the month.
The first test results last month were... out of this world. I had never seen numbers like that and it was quite shocking. So yeah, immediate therapy. We're still running other tests and things will be ongoing as we are currently only treating the biggest issue but there might be 2-3 more that should get some attention once we've found a treatment for the first one. Man, I love my body. Not.
Apparently a lot of this has to do with age. And some of the things are most likely hereditary. So I talked to my mum a lot and I also had a chat with my sister about things.
Which brings me to another thing. I miss my family. I am fine without them usually, mind you but it's been so long since I was able to see any of them in person. I saw my sister for like 2 days in 2019 but I haven't seen my parents or anyone else in the family in the flesh since 2018. Talking via video-call and all is good to lessen the pain a little but there's always this creeping feeling right now of "when will be the last time I see them?" because you know, people don't get older.
My parents are old. There's an 11 year gap between my older sister and me, so you can imagine that our parents didn't have me until late, age wise. So... yeah. It's a fear I always carry with me.
Fear leads me to another thing that happened. Several people at my workplace, both staff and students, got tested positive for COVID fairly recently. I tested negative in the resulting mass PCR test we did but man the atmosphere at work was pretty shit for a while. Apparently I was fanning the flames unknowingly because of something I said and that was misunderstood so I was told to be more careful in the future. And I will be but y'know there was some panic and fear talking there as well because everyone else was also in panic mode and... that's just how it goes, isn't it?
The resulting chaos brought about good and bad things. Like, I do not quite agree with some of the stuff that happened but overall I still think that the company I work for is a good place to work for.
These are just really chaotic times and living through them in Japan is both a blessing and a curse.
We'll see how things develop. Right now it looks like numbers are going down in Tokyo and people are talking about ending the state of emergency again but the medical institutions are still screaming. And I agree. Don't stop now that it's working! Or we'll yo-yo straight into the next wave. Especially with the season of gatherings coming up. Sakura Season is upon us and since there was virtually no sakura season last year because everyone was still scared of COVID, I'm afraid this year will just bring...disaster.
Sigh
Okay admittedly, I am also really tired of talking about the pandemic but I can't let that get to me too much because it is still part of our lives and it is still important to be vigilant and careful and all that.
But DO let me end this blog entry with something more positive.
Since the medical treatment and all that means that I will be home more - and I have arranged with work to not be sent out of town for the near future - I have stocked up on some stuff and bought a few things I had been looking at for a while. Which means I am pretty damn broke but hey worth it.
I bought a fitness bike to support my health improving efforts.
I bought an microwave/oven/grill/streamer combo like I've been wanting to and have used it to make stuff
I bought a handmixer
I bought a WAFFLE MAKER!! \o/ and it has the right shape and it's made in Germany lol
...those are probably the biggest purchases I made. I bought a bunch of other stuff, too but these were the bigger things that have been added since the start of the year.
Home is getting more and more homey, as it should. I'm happy with that.
Fandom has been on the backburner because of those purchases but also because of COVID. I miss Yuma and the other guys and I will spend some money to say hello on Valentine's Day... maybe. I am still on the fence. I might actually wait until I can see him in person again in March. We'll see.
Thai BL is still going strong because that's something you can just do remotely. lol The fandom experience has been quite chaotic but recently I was able to make friends - funnily enough, Japanese speaking ones - and I've been talking to one lady in particular and we've become fandom buddies. I'm quite happy to be making more Japanese friends these days because it's always been a hard thing to do.
Okay that's all the time I can shell out for this today. Hopefully I'll be able to blog again later this month.
Thanks for reading. I love you!
Sorry that you had to go through such crazy times with your personal health issues and the COVID scare at your workplace at the same time :< *hugs* It's worrying to hear about your health but at the same time I'm glad that it was picked up in time, so hopefully things improve soon.
ReplyDeleteAlso yay for your recent purchases! It's nice to have nice things (although painful for the wallet lol) and I think it'll help with your mental health too, while staying at home - I'm sure looking at your waffle maker makes you feel happy hehe (it's so cute!!) <3 am glad that you've also got fandom to keep you happy and entertained heh I can see that you're very into Thai BL fandom recently :3
actually, it's really a scary thought about parents ageing.. recently it's been occurring to me more and more that my parents only have a very limited number of years left, and it kind of holds me back in terms of thinking about what I should/ could do in the mid-term e.g. moving overseas, etc. I had a phase of that 9 years ago and that's why I moved back to SG from HK.. and thankfully they've lived the past few years fairly well, but then that dilemma continues every year and the cost-benefit analysis continues to be increasingly weighted towards staying with them. Did you ever consider moving back to Germany to be with your parents?
Body is being body. I guess I'm used to it because I've lived with this f-ed up thing all my life lol (trying to be positive about it)
DeleteI realized I didn't include my new macbook and airpods in the list ... the most expensive stuff ahahahaha *broke af*
I am very into Thai BL but I am also still with my boys but unfortunately due to the pandemic that side of the fandom spectrum has been on the backburner... because I have not been able to see them first because events on their side were cancelled and then because I could not go to their event because I had been potentially exposed to COVID and did not want to risk it >_> oh and also money... (medical costs on top of the purchases)
yeah I have considered going back a few times and I have also talked to my parents about it but we all know that going back would be hard for me for various reasons... I just would not have anything. no job... and not so many friends because all of my friends are busy with their lives and we have all moved to different parts of the country or world and well the biggest issue would be no job. my parents know I'm happy here. of course I'm far and they miss me but they want me to be happy.
and well, my sister is with my parents. it's a bit like balancing things out. I was with my parents for most of my life while my sister was gone... and then my sister was with my parents when I was gone... and then I was back with my parents again and now my sister is with them... I guess that's just how it works for our family. there are two of us siblings to take care of them and to take care of each other.
no idea what the future will bring, though. we'll see :x