conversations I never thought I'd have

Or rather, conversations I never thought I'd have with the people I had them with.

You know how people tell you about 'taboo topics' and all that, things better left unsaid or unmentioned in conversations in certain countries? Or certain people?

I have met a bunch of interesting people, both in my job and in private through various fandom experiences and talking to them has been both a delight and a learning experience. A few notable topics include: the dark side of the 'nightlife' industry in Japan (how girls are mistreated etc...), prostitution and all that jazz... then homosexuality and finally mental health. 

All heavy topics, yes but also... interesting in their own way. No?

For example, working in the infamous host clubs or hostess bars is often glorified in pop culture - I am guilty of going for that trope, too. But the reality looks different. The dark side of the world lit by neon lights was...darker than I could have imagined. Especially for the girls.

On the other hand actual brothels seemed to operate 'fairly' for the lack of a better word.

I got to hear first hand accounts for all of these and while I want to elaborate, I really shouldn't for the sake of the people I talked to and heard things from. (Oh and I learned some interesting Japanese vocab in the whole process, too... vocab I'll probably never need or use again).

Along similar lines, I also talked to some people about sexuality, homosexuality. And in this case, lesbians. Gays in Japan are more prominent, Nichome and all that but lesbians are more guarded? I feel like this is also reflected in pop culture yet again - BL sells but 'Yuri' is still kind of out there? Weird parallels between the fictional world an the real world. But also sad once again to see women getting the short end of the stick.

So yeah I was really happy about talking about coming out and being open and BEING HAPPY. I hope the two of them stay happy like that always.

Another topic I never thought I'd be talking to Japanese friends about is mental health.

Considering THAT one is quite the hush hush taboo topic, it really took me by surprise. I had a student talk to me about it first, about how they were going to therapy and that it was helping them cope with things that had happened in their life. I shared some of my stories as well and we bonded over that and also traded some tips as to how to deal with things ourselves.

I felt really honored that my student trusted me so much to tell me about those things because, well, it's something really private and something so rarely talked about here. Or anywhere, I guess.

Then, I made friends with more Japanese girls and the BQT guys and this is maybe one of the reasons why I really like this fandom so much. People talk about things, people are honest about things and the guys really accept it and try to be there for the fans, too.

One of the girls who approached me first said in one of the chats, "Someone telling you that you did a good job by just 'living/being alive' today means a lot. Sometimes that's all it takes to make sure you go on and can live another day." It might sound dramatic to some but I get that feeling, really.  

I think a lot of us know that feeling, the pressure of having to be constantly productive - even, or maybe especially on a day off. So when someone in the chat goes "I lived today" the rest of us are supportive and we will give encouragement and thanks.

Out of the guys, Yuma does it the most but the other 3 do, too (Gaku, too but he's not been around much so). Yuma usually asks what we've been up to and when someone really just goes "it was hard to just be alive today but I managed" he'll thank them for hanging in there and give some words of encouragement. He said he doesn't really think he deserves to be someone's reason to live but he's happy to be able to help in some way, shape or form, to make life more bearable.

When he senses that someone is really bad off he'll go "video call me, we'll figure this out".

Kaito does this, too. Kaito talks a mile a minute and he's a great talker and loves talking but... he also listens. He listens and understands and he really gives good advice, too. He's also open about things he is worried about and thinks about and it's interesting to see the 'other side' of people.

Like, many celebrities talk about their 'complexes' and stuff in order to get sympathy or to make themselves look more human, I feel. But here we have issues that are a bit closer to home: being overweight, being bullied, trying to lose weight but then rebounding, trying to deal with your bodies' issues but your body just won't let you, having a job you hate but need because money, being in financial trouble because of the pandemic and how it's gnawing on everyone's psyche...

Of course we also talk about fun stuff in this fandom and we're often silly etc but we can also do serious things and... I don't know, I really can't see other fandoms doing that? :/

Tell me if I'm wrong...